Parenting the Costs..
By: Stevie Nichole Wargo
Parenting… it includes so much, the way you punish your children, love your children, trust your children, and much more. Parenting is so much responsibility. What’s the best method of parenting? I don’t know from personal experience but parenting does not appear to be easy from any standpoint. If you punish your child you are the bad guy for awhile, but it helps them in the long run. If you don’t punish your child you are the cool parent, but is it hurting them in the long run? There are so many different ways to go about parenting it depends a lot on the child and the adult in the situation, but I believe if you are a loving, caring parent who cares about their child, it will all turn out well in the end.
Punishment plays a huge part in parenting. There are so many different ways to punish your child. Parents can punish their children verbally, physically, they can use the silence method, ignorance, they can talk about the problem, and they can eliminate activities. The elimination of activities can range from the eliminating of a cell phone, personnel belongings, activities, sports, and much more. In most cases punishment varies with age. Age is a significant variable in punishment in my opinion. I believe this because there is a massive difference between a five year old and a sixteen year old. A sixteen year old should no matter what the situation, have a pretty good understanding of right and wrong. While a five year old is too young to understand a lot of things, some things can be justified by a five year old that should in no way shape or form be justified by a sixteen year old. I feel the way you punish your kids also shows how much you love them. They have to learn from their mistakes to help them in the long run. As sad as it is you will not be there to help them forever, so why not give them a better understanding and make them look back and be glad they had the parents they did. They will be able to look back when they have kids and think how their parents would have handled the situation they are in with their children, which will be helping them and your grandkids in the long run.
In a parent child relationship, discussion and communication are key for a successful relationship. How should people communicate with their kids? What’s the correct way to establish a point to your kids? Should you be interactive, calm, or should you lecture them? Or maybe, you should let them control the whole situation and see where it leads. In past experiences with my parents I do not control much, in our conversations dealing with punishment or consequences. They give me a chance to say what happened and speak my peace and that’s about it. Honestly, I think that’s the way it should be though. If my mom and dad let me help choose my punishment, I know that I wouldn’t learn anything from the situation. That’s an average teen, of course we don’t want to be punished, although in the back of our minds we know we need it. And whether I admit it to my parents or not I usually know and understand where they are coming from, and why I am being punished.
How much privacy should a teenager have? Some parents are carefree about what their child is doing for the simple fact that you think they are an overall good, decent kid. Then some parents are on their kids twenty-four seven, giving them breathing room only. I absolutely hate it when my mom and dad are crowding me, and giving me no time for myself to do what I want. I also hate it when they ask me questions about every move I make, or even consider making. This is more my mother then my father. But, if my parents weren’t inquisitive and interested in my life, it would depress me and make me feel as if they didn’t care. When I go somewhere with someone I expect them to ask where I am going, when I will be home, whose all going, and then give me the “don’t do anything stupid”, or the “if you do screw up tonight and cover it up, you know we will find out about it, maybe not right away but we will”. Should you always trust that your kids will be doing the right thing? Honestly, what teenager is flawless, what kids not going to screw up at some point? The parents that really bother me are the ones who ignore. If they know their child is up to no good at all, and they don’t question or say anything. I have friends whose parents just don’t care; they allow them to do whatever they want whenever they want, regardless of responsibility. I think the best way is to have trust with your child, but you can not allow a teenager to be doing what they want all the time, and trust that something bad is not going to happen.
Do you let your child make all their decisions? Decision making as a child should involve the parent and the child. It should bring you together. Even simple things like scheduling classes or going places should be discussed by the parent and the child. I believe that you will have a closer relationship if you can understand where the other is coming from. Take a second and see where the other stands, try to understand what their saying. If that still isn’t working for you, that’s when you bargain. No child should be surfing through their teenage years alone. We need guidance, and whether we will admit it or not we need help. At least for me I know I get overwhelmed constantly about school, homework, my friends, anything. Being a teenager is so much fun, but at the same time it can be hard to get through. The last thing we want is to go through it all alone.
Ask more. Show that you care and want to know how their doing. Parents give your kids some freedom, but punish them if they need it. At the end of the day no matter what, you will love your child and they will love you back. Everything will work out for the best. Don’t get frustrated parents because I assure you, we don’t know everything and we do love you. These are our teenage years, and we need you more now then ever. So please, coming from a fellow teen, punish us now to help us later. We might hate you today, but we will love you tomorrow. Kids will be kids, but we need our parents to be parents.
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